I’ve spent many years wondering the exact answer to this question. I have wandered from season to season and though I didn’t realize it at the time, God was molding me into who I am today. I am His, plain and simple. There isn’t a mold to fit into, or anything to identify as. There is so much freedom that comes with that revelation.
For we are God's handiwork created in Christ Jesus to do good works which God prepared in advance for us to do. Ephesians 2:10
Last year, it became very apparent to me that He was moving in ways that I didn’t understand anymore. Every bit of understanding of scripture that I had before, changed once I started comparing it to the events going on in the world. I went from being in my own small self centered world to taking a hard look at what was going on around me. At this point, I realized that the corruption going on in our churches, states, nation, and world was much deeper than I realized. It was time to start praying again. Truly repenting for not only my own sin, but for the whole nation. I fasted for the first time in my life. Several times. I completely cleaned every bit of what I knew to be sin in God’s eyes out of my house. Books, movies, decorations, some things in my son’s old room that opened my eyes to what he had been going through before he moved out into the real world. All of it went in the trash. I started seeking God in a way that I never have before with amazement and awe. I started stepping out in faith, and doing things that I wasn’t comfortable doing before. Everything I did was in trying to lift other’s spirits. I started having dreams that gave me understanding as to what was happening. I started seeing the parallels between what was being spoken of in the Bible to what has been happening in our culture. It was almost like lightning struck, or maybe my reality shifted, and the only way I know how to describe it is that God was downloading information.
It was at this point that I realized that every bit of my life had been used by God to prepare me. The abuse suffered at the hands of someone I trusted as a child, the anxiety and fear I experienced as a result of it, shock at having everything you know wiped out by a monster hurricane, a health condition that still hasn’t been diagnosed despite seeing about 20 specialists and going to 3 major hospitals, the death of my brother. All of it had a purpose.
For if you remain completely silent at this time, relief and deliverance will arise for the Jews from another place, but you and your father’s house will perish. Yet who knows whether you have come to the kingdom for such a time as this? Esther 4:14
See, not only has God helped me through all of that, He used it to prepare me for this time. To help others see Him, just as I have seen Him in each of the circumstances I have been through. He put wonderful people in my life, that helped guide me through the troubles. My parents and brothers, my husband, my son, my aunts and uncle, my friends. Through each season there was someone different, but only one God and He was my rock. He showed up in the most odd ways. On days when my illness got the best of me, He gave me a wonderful boss that not only shared wisdom, but would call me out on the happy face I tried to put on for everyone else’s benefit. When my brother died, He sent a pregnant and abused dog. He knew I needed something to save, and He knew that dog needed to be rescued. Last year, He sent me a kindly old man in a grocery store. This man was repeating the same words to me that God had been saying, and before talking to him I was on the fence about believing what God was trying to tell me. God has introduced me to a wonderful sister in Christ that has the same calling for this time that I do, and has led me to a great group of people that have Bible studies in my own neighborhood. He has sent me a husband that is a dying breed in this day and age. My husband is chivalrous and has an “old school” way about him. He is faithful and if anyone were to attempt to hurt me, it would probably be their last attempt at anything in this life. God gave me a son that has taught me to look at things through a child’s eyes again, and parents that have led me in wisdom and truth. He gave me brothers that challenged me and taught me how to be a leader.
Every one of us has a choice during this day and time. God is revealing so much, and will reveal more. I feel that we are fixing to experience revival and blessings during this great harvest, but only if we decide to choose Him. He has proven over and over again that He is God, and there is no other! Choose to join His Kingdom today!
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